7
Sep

Ice turns small roof leaks into monster holes!

Remember in your early years of science class when you learned that water expands when it turns to ice?

It’s still true!

On flat or low sloped roofs, especially, ice will open existing holes or voids so that they can really leak into your building.

If there is the slightest gap between your layers of roof membrane, water can enter these areas. As that water freezes, it expands, therefore opening the small gap into a larger gap. Many good roofs leak after an ice event. Don’t worry, it can be repaired.

Ice and cold weather can also cause your flat roof products to contract. This may cause the two parts to separate which will usually result in a leak. If the roof was properly installed this should not happen, but remember the roof was put on by humans and human error will always be a factor.

On steep sloped roof, ice can cause damming. This is where the ice builds up on the roof so that the melting water is caught, like a dam.

Since steep sloped roofs are not water proofers the water will enter in between the shingles and cause a leak. This typically occurs at the bottom of a valley where leaves and debris have built up or at the eves where it is colder and ice can form quickly. To totally avoid it, you may want to use a gutter brush or another gutter cleaning tool.

On standing seam metal roofs the ice can build up over the seam and find an entry point at the seam. This is not a common occurance but it can happen. Since metal expands and contracts a great deal the seams of the roof could be separated more than usual under the ice.

The biggest hazard with ice on standing seam meal roofs in the South is that we do not typically design them for ice melting conditions. When a big sheet of ice finally melts and starts to slide off the roof it comes off in long spears. Some can be quite heavy and sharp. The ice will be moving swiftly and can cause major damage when it hits something or somebody.

Enjoy the little bit of ice and snow we get in our typically warm Winters. We don’t get that experience often. But remember, we build for the heat here in Texas and cold weather can cause some unexpected problems.

1
Sep

Bedwetting Diapers – Choose From Cloth Or Disposable

Bedwetting diapers can be made of absorbent cotton or can be disposable so that you simply put them in the trash when you take them off.

For most teens, disposable bedwetting diapers are the preferred type because neither they nor their parents have to bother washing out the diapers each day. With the new diapers on the market for bedwetting teens, these look just like regular underwear so they can sleep over at a friend’s house and not have to worry about being embarrassed.

Bedwetting diapers for all ages are sold in all major department stores as well as at online retail stores.

Bedwetting teens in diapers are more common than you might think. The reasons are varied ranging from medical problems to undeveloped bladders.

Parents of bedwetting teens should not blame themselves for having done something wrong, nor should the teens blame themselves because they have to wear bedwetting diapers at night.

The disposable bed wetting diapers are comfortable to wear and are not big and bulky like some of the ordinary diapers. With cloth bedwetting diapers you have to use pins to keep them in place, but with disposable diapers there are sticky strips that hold the sides together.

But bedwetting diapers aren’t a complete answer.

Whether you use cloth or disposable bed wetting diapers, they will leak once they reach their saturation point. This is the point at which the bedwetting diapers are no longer able to hold any more water.

So even when you have bedwetting teens in diapers, you should be prepared to have wet sheets in the morning.

When the bedwetting diapers are saturated and the teen moves around in his/her sleep, the water will leak out through the leg area wetting the pyjamas and the bed sheets.

Teens are really embarrassed when they have a bedwetting problem and are mortified to think that one of their friends might find out about it. Some of the ways parents try to help them include waking them a few hours after they go to sleep to get them to go to the bathroom. Some parents also prefer to use bedwetting alarms, which alert the teens when moisture is detected.

Even then bed wetting sometimes occurs.

Bedwetting teens in diapers often try to limit the amount of liquids that they drink after dinner and some of them cut out drinking pop all together. They try everything they can so that they won’t have to wear bedwetting diapers.

Disposable bedwetting diapers

Disposable bedwetting diapers, such as Pullups, work the same way as cloth diapers. Instead of cotton fibers, though, the paper fibers help to absorb the liquid. These do a better job of preventing the bed from becoming wet and from constantly having to each bed sheets.

In addition, teens really like them because it gives them the feeling that they do not have a bedwetting problem. Parents of bedwetting teens in diapers should take steps to make sure there is no underlying serious medical problem. Too often the teens prefer to keep using bedwetting diapers and don’t even want to discuss the problem with a doctor.

5
Aug

Sleep Like a King: In a waterbed

Waterbeds come in a range of sizes just like regular beds. To make sure your waterbed sheets fit on your bed you need to make sure you know the size of your waterbed. Not only do you need to know the width and length of your bed, but you need to know the depth of your mattress.

When looking for waterbed sheets it is also important to take into consideration the style of frame you have as well. If you have a soft frame, or a hard frame may make a difference in the best sheets for your bed.

As with regular cheap roll-away beds, waterbeds come in King, Queen, double and twin size. The waterbed also comes in a super single. This is a little larger than the twin, but not as big as the double.

Most waterbeds are the same length, it’s the width that varies. Most waterbeds are longer than regular beds, measuring in at 84 inches instead of the standard bed size of 74 inches. This means it will be difficult if not impossible to use regular bed sheets on your waterbed. You will need to get sheets made specifically for waterbeds.

There are a couple different types of waterbed sheets. The regular sheets, and pole sheets. Waterbed pole sheets are great for keeping the sheet in place. In fact, the motto is they don’t come off until you take them off. Pole sheets are constructed with a casing in each of the corner pockets of the bottom sheet. Once the pole is slipped through the casing, it will grab the corner of the wood frame to hold the sheet in place until you are ready to take the sheets off of the waterbed mattress.

You can also find waterbed sheet sets that are connected at the bottom in the middle. This keeps the sheets from sliding, and keeps them together on the bed.

So no matter what size you are looking for, you can find sheets of many colors and materials. You can also find sheets built to stay on your bed ~ until you take them off.


Waterbed Sheet Sets

waterbed sheetsWith a regular bed it’s pretty easy to find your fitted sheet and flat sheets separately. It doesn’t cost any more and you have the ability to mix and match. Along with mixing and matching sheets, you have more leeway in doing the same with the comforter.

This is not the case with waterbed sheets. Waterbed sheets have a unique attribute. They are connected at the bottom. They are connected to make a couple of things easier. It makes it easy to make the bed, getting the sheets tucked in. It also helps to keep the sheets in place while you are sleeping. There is often little room to maneuver between the mattress and the bed frame, so having the sheets connected make things a little easier. The sets frequently have a flat sheet that has a corner flap that keeps the sheet tucked in.

When buying waterbed sheets sets you also get a comforter as well. This is usually quite a bargain, in fact, you can save up to 30% over buying each of the pieces separately. Waterbed comforters are easier to come by when you buy them with a sheet set.

You can find waterbed sheet sets in just about any material you could want, including satin, bridal satin, cotton, percale, even earth friendly bamboo. You will find the cotton sheets come in a wide range of thread count, which will help determine the price of your set. The higher the thread count the higher the price. You will be most comfortable in sheets with a thread count of at least 180.

It may difficult to find matching waterbed sheets and comforters if you don’t buy them in a set. They are not quite as easy to find as regular comforters, especially if your sheets are of a unique design or color. Your best bet and probably the easiest solution for getting matching sheets and comforter is to purchase a waterbed sheet set.


The Benefits of Buying Waterbed Sheets

waterbed sheetsWaterbeds are a great way to get a good night’s sleep.  Getting sheets to stay on them can be troublesome if you aren’t not using waterbed sheets.

Many people make the mistake of trying to use regular sheets on their waterbed.  This never works, for a couple of reasons.  Waterbeds are longer than regular beds, in fact there’s about a 10 inch difference.  Most regular beds measure a length of about 74 inches, while waterbeds generally run about 84 inches.  This is one of the most important factors in getting a good fitting sheet.  Waterbed sheets are designed to fit waterbeds.

Depending on the type of frame and mattress of your bed you may find it’s difficult to get your sheets on the bed, and keep them on.  There are a couple of elements that are designed into waterbed sheets that help solve these problems.  These design elements are particular to waterbed sheets alone.

First the top and fitted sheets are usually connected at the bottom and middle of the bed. This keeps the sheets together and helps to keep them on the bed.

The second unique design feature of waterbed sheets is called the Pole sheet.  Pole sheets are constructed with a casing in each of the corner pockets of the bottom sheet.  Once the pole is slipped through the casing, it will grab the corner of the wood frame to hold the sheet in place until you are ready to take the sheets off of the waterbed mattress.  Pole sheets to not come in every fabric, but make keeping your sheets on the bed very easy.

The third design feature is the fitted sheet has flaps that allow you to tuck in the sheet and keep it where you want it.

You will not find any of these design features in ordinary sheets, and will therefore have difficulty keeping them on a waterbed.  Your best bet is to pick up some specially designed waterbed sheets.  You will find if you buy them in a set, along with the comforter you can save over 30% from just buying them separately.  You can also find waterbed sheets on sale, and in discount stores making them just as affordable as buying regular sheets.


What Materials Can You Find for Waterbed Sheets?

best waterbed sheetsYou can find sheets for a regular bed in just about any material you can think of, waterbed sheets have always been a bit more limited in materials. This is no longer the case. Waterbed sheets are now being made in a wide variety of patterns, colors and of course materials.

Satin Waterbed Sheets

Satin sheets are most known for their smoothness, in fact, they can be downright slippery. They are so nice to sleep on though. Satin can be made from both silk and polyester.

You will find the polyester satin will be more durable, and less expensive. Silk will be more luxurious, but you will pay for the luxury. Satin waterbed sheets often come with the fitted sheet and top sheet attached at the bottom of the bed. This keeps both sheets in place and from sliding off the bed.

Percale Waterbed Sheets

Percale is a more durable every day material for your sheets. It is a 50/50 blend of cotton and polyester. It is meant to be durable. Your percale sheets can last from 10 to 20 years depending on use and care. You will find percale is easily washable at home in your washing machine. You can also dry these sheets in a regular dryer.

Cotton Waterbed Sheets

Cotton has been a longstanding material used for sheets. When purchasing cotton waterbed sheets make sure you to check on the actual amount of cotton used in the sheet.

You want to find a sheet that is made of 100% cotton. Cotton sheets are measured by thread count. This is the number of weaves of cotton within one square inch of sheet. You can sheets with threadcounts of anywhere from 80 to over 1000.

The higher the threadcount the higher the price, and the softer the sheet. Most quality waterbed sheets have a threadcount of at least 180. Cotton sheets may seem a little large to begin with, this is to compensate for the shrinking of cotton during the laundry process. These sheets are easy to wash and dry at home.

Bamboo Waterbed Sheets

Earth friendly bamboo fabric is woven from a very renewable resource and is fully bio-degradable. It doesn’t require pesticides to grow. Cooler and drier than cotton and as soft as silk.

The fibers in bamboo wick away moisture up to nine times faster than cotton, making them the perfect fabric for people who tend to perspire in their sleep.

Naturally anti-microbial bamboo kills bacteria, fungus and microbes, which in turn keeps them virtually odor free between washing allowing you to enjoy a cleaner, healthier sheet

As you can see there is a wide range of materials for waterbed sheets. No matter what size, color or material you are looking for you should have no problem finding it.


Discount Waterbed Sheets ~ Where to Find Discount Waterbed Sheets

On the surface it may seem waterbed sheets are more expensive then regular bed sheets, however, if you take into consideration all the places and ways to get discount waterbed sheets the price comparison evens out.

You can find waterbed sheets at a discount in many places and for many reasons. If you are looking for a specific type of waterbed sheet or a specific material of sheet I would encourage you to do a search online for exactly what you’re looking for. A simple search of google for purple satin waterbed sheets brought back over 3000 choices. This will be the case for you as well, no matter what type of waterbed sheets you are looking for.

Your second option is to look at large department stores like Walmart and Target. They frequently have waterbed sheets on sale, and their regular prices are quite low. You may not find the variety you would like to see in colors and materials, but you will probably find an excellent price.

The third option is to look for an outlet or discount store. Many manufacturers offer new lines, as well as old, discontinued and factory seconds through an outlet store. The savings to be found at outlet stores can be up to 50 or 75% less than retail price. Finding these stores can be difficult depending on where you live. If it’s not too far it might be a fun day trip to take with some friends. An outlet store is rarely a stand along store, it’s generally packed in with many other outlet stores, making a fun day of discount shopping.

If you are a waterbed owner you will find waterbed sheets make sleeping on a waterbed much easier. You don’t have to pay top dollar for your waterbed sheets, they are available at a discount in many places. Who knows, you may find a great deal and end up getting your waterbed sheets for less than regular sheets.

2
Aug

Stay away from pretty boys…or is it ugly boys in pretty cars?

As a young girl, ask any seasoned mother for advice about boys and heartbreaks, and she’ll tell you with a tint of reflective self regret – “Avoid the pretty boys”. Now, I’m not advocating here for the paid up, card carrying members of the “Girl’s ignore me coz’ I’m ugly society”, but it’s a well known factor that pretty boys break hearts.

Besides, its contestable too that pretty girls are made of angelic character(*he says waving a white handkerchief to some known usual suspects*), though it’s not arguable that folks are short changed all round based on looks.

Apparently, it’s now understood that adulterers are more likely to be driving flashy and expensive cars, and just like the pretty boys, they break hearts as those who hustle with good old fashioned bangers like Fords and Nissans feel just as short changed as ugly folks when it comes to pulling skirt.

In a recent survey in the UK by a dating website that exclusively specializes in infidelity (business is abused as an excuse for anything these days…LOL!)…

  • 20% of adulterers drove flashy expensive cars
  • BMW owners topped the list of cheaters
  • Adulterers were least interested in their partners cars

The sorts of high powered executive cars driven by the top adulterers included Bentley’s, Aston Martin’s, Porsche’s and the biggest chunk were those driving Beamers.

Makes you wonder though – if I were a girl, would I bang a guy with an ugly old ordinary car ama a guy with a car that makes you mesmerized enough to remove your panties without realizing what you’re doing…LOL!

Let’s face it, an ordinary dude standing next to an 11 year old battered but clean Nissan Maxima wouldn’t stand a chance next to an ordinary guy with a fully loaded 2009 Jaguar XF or an S Class Shinde that looks like a space ship.

And I doubt that knowledge of possible infidelity will ever deter some girls from making informed choices.

Maybe I should support and make a donation to the “Girls ignore me coz’ I’m ugly society”. We can’t have all the pretty boys (and girls…) as well as pretty vehicles stealing all the thunder….LOL!

2
Aug

Would you let him take care of birth control in the name of equal opportunity?

I can think of any number of women I know who will scream “It’s about bloody time” when you confidently tell them that this time – the male contraceptive that is proving to be as good as the pill in preventing pregnancy is just round the corner – literally.

There’s been a number of hoaxes and false starts over the years, but scientists are apparently confident (like a scientist will ever admit that their experiment or project is a waste of space and doomed for failure) that within 5 years, the male contraceptive jab that they have been testing will be ready to give women a break from the responsibility of taking care of birth control.

In the latest study of more than 1,000 men, just over one in 100 conceived a child, similar figures to the 1 or 2 per cent of women who become pregnant while taking oral contraception.

However, like with most studies in the past, the biggest stumbling block isn’t the medical aspects that will actually stop the sperm in its tracks…apparently, the biggest stumbling block is whether women will sufficiently trust their men to be exclusively responsible for the use of hormonal contraception.

I guess we as men don’t exactly give ourselves the best fighting chance when it comes to some issues. I remember one regular punter down my local pub lamenting that she can never trust men – and her reason was simple, the last time she trusted a man, she ended up with a daughter. I mean, who can argue with her position in such a case….

The testosterone injection, which could be on the market in five years, was tested on a group of healthy fertile men aged 20 to 45, each of whom had fathered at least one child in the previous two years. Female partners were aged between 18 and 38 and had no reproductive problems.

Lead researcher Dr Yi-Qun Gu said: ”For couples who cannot, or prefer not to use only female-oriented contraception, options have been limited to vasectomy, condom and withdrawal. Our study shows a male hormonal contraceptive regimen may be a potential, novel and workable alternative.”

You know what, I really admire men who claim to be strong enough to use coitus interruptus as a birth control method.

That’s right! I’m a weak man…LOL! There’s some things that I find difficult and one of them is withdrawing from an impending ejaculation. That’s just crazy. A herd of wild buffalo pulling me away at such a critical stage of coitus would have a job on their hands.

In the latest trial on a jab, the men were given monthly 500 milligram injections of testosterone undecanoate in tea seed oil over a period of two and a half years.

The men’s fertility returned to normal in all but two participants after the treatment was stopped.

Scary though to know that you might not get your mojo back – but seriously, I’ll sign up to use it if it’s on the market, if only to give ‘er indoors a breather.

Results from the Chinese trial, the largest effectiveness study of a testosterone-based male contraceptive ever undertaken, will appear in the June issue of the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism. The study, which was backed by the World Health Organisation, used buttock injections, alternating sides with each jab.

There were no serious side effects caused by the testosterone injections, although severe acne affected some volunteers.

However, almost one third of 1,045 men enrolled in the trial did not complete it and no reason was provided for this.

Heelllloooo!!! Did someone check the local morgue???

24
Jul

Best sleeping aids in 2016

I still remember those sleepless nights, though they were a while ago. Having sleep problems, especially with the emotional or physical problems that cause it is nothing you forget quickly.

When I found out there wasn’t a site that discusses the issue in a simple, non formal language and mentions existing solutions, I decided to start this blog.

Your bed misses you

Now I am sure all of you sleepless people wish for a one quick magic solution and this is where I have to disappoint you, I don’t have it.

There might be one for you but finding your best sleep aid is a journey, and you know what, even after you find it, it might not do the magic for the guy next to you.

This reminds me of something I read in Penelope’s Leach great book “Your Baby and Child: From Birth to Age Five”. She discusses the crying baby and how to make the crying go away. Her brilliant observation (proven to be true with my own kids) is that once you are done trying every method you can think of, your baby is done crying.

Sleeping is crucial to us. It affects every aspect of our lives, from how we feel to how we look. From how well our immune system functions to how active our metabolism is. Needless to say, it greatly affects our performance, in work and with our family.

To those who have kids, try to remember that morning, after a sleepless night, you went (totally) ballistic over a minor thing your kid was doing, something you might consider absolutely charming and irresistible in most other situations.

To those who don’t have kids (yet), the same applies to your partner, your boss, the guy in the store, your mom calling to nag you – the list is virtually endless.

By now you probably wonder how bad my problem was and what made it go away.

Well, I can say that I had a year of sleeping very little. It was part of a very hard period. I was having emotional issues and on top of that I had big back problems. The change was slow and gradual and involved getting better emotionally while having physical therapy for my back.

I wish that back then I had better access to anti snore pillow about sleeping problems and available sleeping aids. I am sure that at least part of the suffering could have been handled and reduced. Coming back to my base line was great.

Yet, it is not the normal base line, I still like to go to bed late and have a hard time falling asleep.

What helped with further improving my sleep was a more balanced life style (easier said then done) and the ultimate “cure” – having two young and charming kids around the house.

This article will help you find your best sleep aid. It will do so by collecting relevant information and listing relevant products. It will also be a place to discuss and see what other people are going through.

From my experience, knowing other people have the same problems and getting an advice or just sympathy from people who have been through the same problems is already half of the cure.

Classification of Sleep Disorders

If you do not know it by now, sleeping is a widely researched topic. Its importance keeps both the academic and heath system interest high and the research funding keeps flowing in.

One key result of this research is a well developed classification system for sleeping disorders.

I think it is both interesting to know the basics of it and could be beneficiary when looking for the best sleep aid. Below is a brief intro to this classification system, with some references.

Since I am not a researcher or and MD, this by no means intends to be a scientific review, merely a summary that can give you a general idea.

Sleeping disorders are classified by the “International Classification of Sleep Disorders” (ICSD). The ICSD is a resource created by a group of sleep research organization from around the world. One interesting way of classifying sleep disorder is:

  • Dyssomnias
  • Parasomnias
  • Sleep Disorders Associated with Other Disorders

Dyssomnias are problems associated mainly with the process of falling asleep and maintaining a good night sleep, I guess that most of you (and me) fall in this category.

The parasomnias are the problems that happen while we sleep and include anything from grinding your teeth while you sleep to sleep walking.

Teeth grinding while you sleep is more common than you imagine and besides the damage it does to the teeth and joint at the base of the jaw, it (badly) affects the quality of sleeping.

The last group disorders is associated mainly with mental, neurological and medical conditions, this group includes sleep disorders related wtih panic and anxiety disorders, alcoholism and mood disorders.

Another interesting grouping, mainly within the dyssomnias is to intrinsic and extrinsic sleep disorders. The intrinsic sleep disorders include:

  1. Narcolepsy
  2. Posttraumatic hypersomnia
  3. Obstructive sleep apnea syndrome
  4. The itching restless legs syndrome
  5. And the well known psychophysiological insomnia.

best sleeping aids 2016The extrinsic sleep disorders include inadequate sleep hygiene, alcohol-dependent sleep disorder, nocturnal eating (drinking) syndrome and the self describing environmental sleep disorder.

Now you might wonder why this is important to you, the answer is quite simple.

As always, a good diagnosis is half of the solution.

For example, if you understand that your sleep problem is due to environmental sleep disorder, one that has to do with inadequate temperature in your sleeping environment, the fix might be simple and your obvious sleep aid will be proper heating (or cooling).

If it is noise, better isolation using the best earplugs for sleeping can do wonders. On the other hand, let’s suppose you grind your teeth, your first line sleep aid might be a mouth guard (also known as night guard) – a soft cover to your upper/lower teeth the reduces the damage and inhibits (to a limited degree) the urge to grind your teeth.

In the case of the way too common issue of inadequate sleep hygiene – the lack of persistent and effective sleep habits – a slow building of regular sleep habits, with a predetermined schedule will be a very good place to start.

Over the counter sleeping aids

Insomnia is one of the most common complaints when patients go to their doctors. While it is not a debilitating sickness in itself, insomnia may cause bodily harm in the long run, especially if you are sleeping on bunk beds with stairs.

This condition may cause huge amounts of stress to long-term sufferers which may further lead to stress-related diseases such as cardiac disorders. Furthermore, lack of sleep affects the overall performance of a person’s daily activities including his work, social life and personal life.

While there are many ways to prevent insomnia such as changing your daily habits, sometimes it just wouldn’t work enough for you to get a good night’s sleep. In this article, I will write about over-the-counter or OTC medications which may help you to sleep if you have short-term or transient insomnia. You can also read Zyppah review if your partner’s snoring is causing you insomnia.

ANTIHISTAMINES

These medications, which are most commonly used in cases of allergies, are the most common over-the-counter drugs for insomnia.

Histamine, a chemical messenger released by the brain during allergic attacks, is also a chemical that promotes wakefulness. By suppressing the action of histamine, antihistamine medications also promote sleepiness. This is why we feel very drowsy every time we take antihistamine medications.

Commonly, the antihistamines sold and marketed today as OTC medications for insomnia normally contains one of these two types:

  1. Diphenhydramine citrate or Diphenhydramine hydrochloride. Brand names include Nytol, Benadryl, Compoz, and Sominex.
  2. Doxylamine succinate. Brand names include Unisom Sleeptabs and Nighttime Sleep Aid

While these medications are effective in alleviating symptoms of short-term insomnia, it is not proven to be effective in patients suffering from insomnia for 2 weeks or longer. The main reason for this is the side-effects associated with the long-term use of these OTC best snoring mouthpiece.

Side Effects of Antihistamines as OTC Sleep Aids

  • Prolonged drowsiness that may carry to the next day. This side effect depends on the people who take antihistamines, some of which may display none or severe daytime drowsiness.
  • Headaches and feelings of dizziness
  • Dry mouth and throat
  • Reduced alertness and lack of focus, coordination and concentration. Driving is prohibited while you take this medication, as the activity requires you to have mental alertness and coordination.
  • Gastrointestinal side effects such as vomiting and constipation

While the effects of antihistamine in pregnant or lactating women are still under study, medical practitioners discourage its use during pregnancy. Also, these drugs could be secreted into the milk of lactating mothers which may have harmful effects on the newborn.

Furthermore, it is not advisable for the person who is taking My Snoring Solution reviews sleep aids to drink alcohol because antihistamines add greatly to the sedative effects of alcohol. Taking these kinds of medications with medications that cause drowsiness is also discouraged.

Other Problems Associated with OTC Sleep Aids

For patients who have taken OTC sleep aids for a week or more, they will most likely develop a drug tolerance to it. This means that larger doses of this medication may be required to achieve the desired effect.

Another problem associated with taking OTC sleep aids is the eventual drug dependence of the person taking the medications. A person may not be able to sleep anymore without taking the medication. Abrupt stopping of drug intake may also cause withdrawal symptoms.

9
Jul

Smart anti snore pillow for apnea

What Causes Sleep Apnea

A person who suddenly wakes up because of difficulty in breathing may probably suffer from sleep apnea. This condition occurs when the air cannot get into your lungs while you are sleeping.

When your muscle throat temporarily collapses, it will make you wake up gasping to breath. This experience is scary because you might loss your good sleep pattern when not controlled. Sleeping position has a big role why sleep apnea happens.

One cause of sleep apnea is when your throat muscles become over relaxed.

The throat muscle relaxes enough when you are sleeping on your back and makes you open-mouthed. This can cause stop of breathing and can awake you gasping for air because your tongue can slip backwards and upwards inside your mouth. In this situation, what causes sleep apnea is when you are sleeping on your back.

You can counter this situation if you will sleep on your stomach or on your side to have a good sleep.

Large adenoids or tonsils are another thing that causes sleep apnea.

If this is cause why you have interrupted sleep, need not worry because the best treatment to resolve your problem is through surgery.

Your physician can recommend you to a surgeon who will make the surgery such as the uvulopalatppharryngoplasty wherein the tonsils or uvula is removed.

The uvula is being removed so that it will not cover your bronchial tubes when you are sleeping. However, this kind of surgery may be helpful to some people but cannot help other.

Being overweight is what causes sleep apnea.

When you gain weight, fats are also deposited in the soft tissues in your mouth and at the back of your throat thus blocking the airway during your sleep.

You can use a device such as the snoring mouthpiece that can alleviate the sleep apnea. This device will keep your tongue down and keep your jaw in proper position so that you will be able to breathe well.

The size of your skull and the shape of your neck bones can also cause sleep apnea. It has something to do with your sleeping because when you lie down the bones force the muscles to close over the throat.

What causes sleep apnea can be determined when you consult your doctor about the things that you experienced while you are sleeping.


What about a snoring chinstrap?

chin strap for snoringWhat is the best tonic for a healthy mind and body? Sound sleep!

A person who sleeps tight at night without any breaks for 6 to 8 hours is the most blessed man.

There are many problems like stress, physical diseases and illnesses which can majorly affect regular sleep. But one of the most common reasons for sleep apnea or sleeping disorder is snoring.

Snoring is also caused due to deviated septum which is a very serious problem of nostrils. Snoring chin strap is ultimate cure for simple snorers who want to get rid of the trembling sound they make while sleeping.

Although, snoring is not that grave disease on its own, its consequences are hazardous for the health of snorer and also who sleeps with him.

Many times, the snoring is due to nasal congestion which is a common problem during cough and cold. Apart from obesity, smoking habit also leads to snoring. If the snoring is regular then proper treatment can reduce or completely eliminate this ailment.

Benefits of a snoring chinstrap

Apart from medication and treatment, the most commonly used remedy for snoring is chin strap. It has no side effects and can be used for long duration.

It is a kind of a wrap which is wrapped around the jaw covering the chin till the back of head. The wrap is held tightly with a faster so that the jaws are compressed and there is no scope for opening of mouth.

Many individuals have habit of keeping their mouth open while sleeping. Usually this habit gets inhibited from the childhood stage. These prolong action results in stretching of muscles in mouth and throat. This is one of the major causes of snoring and increases the risk of obstructive sleep apnea.

Snoring chin strap supports the lower jaw and restricts it from opening accidentally while you sleep. This action helps to restore the original positioning of tissues. You can see immediate snoring cure or after a while. Studies have shown that, snoring chin strap can minimize the risk of obstructive sleep apnea.

Although, the strap looks funny and is not in sync with the common fashion styling, it works wonders in case of snoring. It can certainly help to eradicate the sleeping disturbances caused due to this ailment.

You can use this wrap anytime while sleeping and there are no restrictions as to how many times you can use it.

You can put on and put off this wrap on your own without anyone’s help which saves your trips to the hospital.

It is such a small thing, that you can carry it anywhere without compromising space.

Snoring chin strap can be easily bought online and is one of the cheapest and zero maintenance solution.


Symptoms of Sleep Apnea

Symptoms of sleep apnea are not always easy to detect thus frequently undiagnosed. Sleep apnea is a common sleep disorder that is sometimes dangerous when left untreated. Men who are over the age of forty and are overweight mostly manifested the symptoms of this sleep disorder. However, both men and women can be affected as well as in children.

The clearest symptom is snoring that is hard to determine by yourself and has to be brought to your attention by someone who sleeps with you.

Loud snoring with snorting is worth investigating because this situation shows that the windpipe collapses upon inhaling because of over relaxation of the throat muscles. Most apnea sufferers snore however, it does not mean by itself that you suffer from it for the mere reason that you snore.

One of the symptoms of sleep apnea is undue tiredness during daytime. Sleep disorder is experienced when an apnea sufferer frequently stops breathing during sleep.

The body’s natural reaction is to wake up for you to start breathing again but you are more likely unaware that you are awakened thus promotes sleep disorder.

Once you are awakened, your sleep is continually interrupted that you are not able to get the deep sleep that you need.

Not being able to sleep may result to tiredness during the day which manifests in being so sleepy at daytime. Morning headache along with sore throat and dry mouth are associated with the symptoms of sleep apnea that resulted from lack of oxygen to the brain.

If left untreated, an individual will begin to experience the effects of sleep apnea such as headache especially in the morning, irritability, personality changes, problems concentrating and depression as well as gain weight.

Increase blood pressure is another sleep apnea symptom that could lead to cardiovascular problems. If you feel that you are having interruptible sleep and your blood pressure is rising, you should consult your doctor for a physical routine. Due to frequent sleep interruptions, a person can experience learning difficulties and decrease in memory retention though you cannot notice it yourself. Lastly, drop in sexual function and numbers of sleep apnea sufferers’ manifests impotency.

If you are noticing these symptoms, act immediately and consult your physician to have a routine check up. Symptoms of sleep apnea though vague can be treated if diagnosed earlier.

Snoring and Sleep Apnea

smart anti snore pillowSnoring and sleep apnea are two different things but are associated with each other. Snoring is the rattling or harsh sound usually produced when a person is in a deep sleep.

When the soft palate vibrates a snoring sound is produced because of the air inhaled through the mouth. The snoring makes even louder when the soft tissue vibrates along with the lips and cheeks. Men snore more often than women and children.

Snoring has several causes. The snoring may also be caused by cold and other respiratory infection. Swollen tonsils and adenoids can also cause snoring as well as other medical conditions.

A misshapen wall separating the nasal cavity, called a deviated nasal septum, or a growth in the cavity, called a nasal polyp, both of which cause nasal blockages, can also cause snoring.

Snoring can also occur when flabby throat muscles are drawn into the airway, particularly when alcohol, drugs, or deep sleep overly relaxes muscular control.

Maybe you will wonder how snoring and sleep apnea is associated. This is because a person who snores is prone experience sleep apnea.

Learning about snoring will make you understand why these two conditions are linked together. In one form of sleep apnea, the muscles that hold open the airway relax and make the air way to collapse. This condition is can lead to obstructive apnea.

When a person wakes briefly to gasps his or her breath it means that the oxygen level in the bloodstream and brain becomes too low. Although the patient has awakened yet may not realize it sooner.

That is why they may not understand why they feel sleepy during daytime. Snoring and sleep apnea have one thing in common; it makes interrupted sleep.

Sleep apnea is a more serious disorder in such a way that apart from halting the breath it can also cause excessive sleepiness during the day and has been associated with some heart disorders.

Doctors usually advise snorers to lose weight and eliminate the fat deposits in the throat area. They also recommend that snorers lose weight and sleep on their sides rather than on their backs.

Snoring and sleep apnea device will provide relief from discomfort and allow anyone to have undisturbed sleep throughout the night.

Sleep Apnea Treatments

Sleep apnea treatments are vital and vary according to the type of apnea, the medical history of the patient as well as to the severity of the condition. An individual who suffers from sleep apnea experiences stop of breathing many times during sleep at night.

The consequences of sleep apnea can be serious and might lead to cardiovascular disease and hypertension. That is why it is important to look for effective treatment that would help stop the sleep disorder.

Any sufferer can choose several sleep apnea treatments. Treatments include change in lifestyle, physical intervention, CPAP machine, surgery, prescription medicines and oral snoring devices.

Oftentimes; it needs to use combination of treatments because single type of treatment may not work on its own.

You can begin treatment by adhering to simple lifestyle change instructions such as avoiding alcohol, limiting intake of sedatives and muscle relaxants for the central nervous system, quit smoking and lose weight.

Taking can also take certain foods such as olive oil for snoring.

Other sleep apnea treatments

sleep apnea treatmentSleep apnea treatment can also include using devices to keep the patient from sleeping on her or his back by using special pillow. Wearing an oral device during sleep is ideal to keep the airway open.

An example of this device is the mandibular advancement splint that holds the lower jaw down to keep the tongue from blocking the airway.

Some of the best mandibular advancement splints include Zyppah, PureSleep, Zquiet, and SnoreRx.

Another possible treatment is prescription medicines wherein you can take stimulants that lessen the number of episodes of sleep apnea however, it also produce side effects such as insomnia and palpitations.

Surgical procedure is one of the more invasive treatments although the success rate is not high. You can choose several procedures only with physician’s advice.

Make sure that you undergo surgery with a licensed surgeon. Currently, most sleep apnea sufferers widely used treatment is the continuous positive airway pressure.

This treatment requires the patient to wear a mask over the nose and mouth while sleeping. Many patients are reluctant at first in using the mask because of its inconvenient nature.

However, due to the quick results obtained, patients become accommodated to the treatment. CPAP is highly effective and a remarkable difference can be notice in the first night that you will use it. Sleep apnea treatments will only be effective if done in proper way.

Anti snore pillow

smart anti snore pillowAnti snore pillow is designed for snorers because snoring is a sign that an individual suffers from sleep apnea. There are people who experience sleep disorder because of frequent pauses of breathing and this condition is called sleep apnea.

It has three types such as the central, obstructive and mixed sleep apnea. The most common type that is frequently suffered by many individuals is the obstructive sleep apnea.

When the throat muscles is over-relaxed, the windpipe collapses and obstruct the airway. This kind of sleep disorder could be treated from simply changing the lifestyle to surgery depending on the severity of the condition.

The sleep apnea pillow is one of the non-invasive treatments that are designed to support the neck and prevent from rolling onto their backs. Likewise, it also helps in keeping the tongue from blocking the airway and relieves the pressures on the arms and shoulders of side sleepers.

One example of this pillow is the SONA- a two-layered padded triangle pillow is very helpful in treating sleep apnea because of its angular design. The design is intended to maintain side-sleeping position. The two inclined surfaces of the pillow serves as the primary sleeping surface.

Sleeping position is implemented when using the SONA sleep apnea pillow.

It has a training arm sling in the lower part of the triangle to enable your hand to be extended under the pillow while sleeping. You can use the pillow lie on either side but should maintain your head on the same side along with your extended arms.

Likewise, a body pillow can be used to hug over or to put between your legs to maintain the sleeping position. This sleeping position allows the jaw to be pulled forward so that the tongue will fall backward thus obstruction of the throat will be prevented. You should follow the sleeping instructions while using the sleep apnea pillow to achieve effective result.

On the other hand, there are certain individuals that do not benefit from the SONA pillow. Those individuals include the obese people and those who suffer severe sleep apnea. Like all other pillows, the SONA pillow undergoes normal wear and tear and recommended to be replaced annually. Sleep apnea pillow should be used with your physician’s advice.

Sleep Apnea Surgery

Sleep apnea surgery is one of the many ways of treating the condition. The effectiveness of any surgery varies from every individual. Otolaryngologists as well as oral and maxillofacial surgeons are the physicians who perform the surgery procedures. Because obstructive sleep apnea is the most common type, I will share to you several types of procedures of the surgery.

  • Uvulopalatopharyngoplasty – Adults with sleep apnea often prefer this type of surgery. The uvula is shortened or removed to enlarge the airways as well as part of the soft palate. Likewise, the adenoids and tonsils are also removed.
  • Tonsilectomy – This procedure oftentimes is the first treatment option for children. The enlarged adenoids or tonsils are removed as it is usually the cause of sleep apnea in children.
  • Tracheotomy – This is the most effective sleep apnea surgery for serious apnea sufferers who have failed in other treatments. The procedure creates a hole in the trachea and the air lets in the hole through a tube. However, it is important to clean the site around the tube to prevent from infection.
  • Septoplasty – this is a procedure wherein a crooked septum is straightens.
  • Maxillomandibular osteotomy – This sleep apnea surgery helps enlarge the airway by moving the jaw forward to prevent the tongue from falling backward. This procedure is done for several hours but of high success rates. The recovery period is significant in such a way that potential complications maybe avoided.
  • Radio frequency ablation – This is one of the latest surgeries duly approved by the Food and Drugs Administration wherein it shrinks the size of the palate or the tongue.
  • Repose – This tongue suspension procedure is different from the other surgery. A small screw is inserted into the lower jawbone to prevent the tongue from falling. However, there are no studies made in the long-term success of the procedure.
  • Lingalplasty and laser midline glossectomy are types of surgery for sleep apnea that take out a part of the tongue.

No matter what kind of surgery or procedure you may choose it always best to consult first your physician for proper referral. Sleep apnea surgery should be done by licensed surgeon to be sure that your life is in the good hands.

Sleep Apnea Solutions

Sleep apnea solutions were founded by Dr Stanford Feinberg on the year 1996 from some laboratories in America. The discovery of it was because of the findings that a lot of his patients were complaining about their disrupted sleep and how it contributes to the havoc and problems on their daily dealing with life.

These solutions later on were discovered that could really change or make an impact among patients who have sleeping problems. It really helped them improve their sleep, work and lives as well.

As time innovated this sleep apnea solutions, not only sleep apnea can be healed and treated with these solutions but all other sleeping disorders too thus also creating a broader extension for the treatment of problems in the lives of people.

Neurology, sleep medicine, bariatric medicine and internal medicine were specially improved and formulated for the success of the innovation of the solution.

These solutions were not just examined and improved by anyone but by experts of every medical practitioner around the globe, because one of the goals, aside from the best result among people who has sleep disorders, is for it to continue the meeting of the standards that was given by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM).

And for them to have that goal at hand is the effective and efficient people to be working with the solution’s progress.

Though sleep apnea solutions are already in the field of helping millions of people already while dealing with their problems in sleeping and with their own lives too, still specialist from the world of medicine would want to have their services be at the best of what it should be.

That is why,it is already inclined with the World Wide Web. With the help of the speed of computers and the connectivity the internet has, the easier it is to access with this kind of service. It would be hassle-free and would not cost much time as to what it used to be.

That is why, if you have a problem in sleeping and it is already as if your life is worst already, why not having this kind of answer? Sleep apnea solutions are a must to try for the betterment of your life and all.

Sleep Apnea – Narcolepsy

Sleep Apnea – Narcolepsy is a rare condition that makes a person fall asleep at the oddest moments. This sleep problem is more neurological in nature because a person tends to sleep when he or she wants to keep awake. This happens when the brain sends sleep inducing messages to the body at inappropriate and unpredictable moments.

This sleep disorder is overwhelming, as the person feels asleep in the midst of any activity during the day. Often, a narcoleptic falls asleep when he or she is engaging in activities such as eating, attending a meeting, watching a movie and even conversing with other people.

A narcoleptic has the overpowering desire to sleep despite of doing activities to overcome the sleepiness. This desire to sleep comes several times per day and lasts for a few minutes and commonly known as sleep attacks.

On the other hand, patients find it difficult to sleep because of sleep apnea. Narcolepsy may attach anytime but during the night, the patient will have difficulty to fall asleep.

They usually wake up several times even if they fall asleep, thus their sleep pattern does not follow the normal non-REM and REM pattern. However, people suffering from narcolepsy are not aware how and when they fall asleep.

Furthermore, this makes a person’s life in danger when falls asleep in front of a steering wheel while driving other than the sleep apnea. Narcolepsy manifests as excessive sleep during daytime, insomnia and sleep fragmentation, sleep paralysis, hypnagogic hallucinations and cataplexy. There are cases of sleep apnea paralysis wherein a patient is not able to move or talk before sleeping or on waking and this is referred to as sleep paralysis.

In addition, almost 50% of people suffering from this condition experience cataplexy wherein enabling a person to move the muscles. It is due to the non-functional part of REM that is triggered by emotions. In extreme cases, the patient’s jaws and neck becomes weak as well as the knees that could make the patient to collapse. The person is very much awake and knows what is going on although he or she looks asleep and cannot talk. A narcoleptic patient manifests automatic behaviour or doing a task incorrectly and this aggravates the sleep apnea. Narcolepsy is a dangerous condition that when left untreated can lead to death.

Sleep Apnea Equipment

Sleep apnea equipment is used by medical professionals in diagnosing and treating sleep apnea. The pause of breathing that happens during sleep is called sleep apnea and is a life threatening disorder. It can have serious consequences when left undiagnosed and untreated. Fortunately, diagnosis and treatment of such disorder is made easy through the several devices and machines.

When diagnosing the disorder, sleep apnea equipment is used to delineate the type and severity. A sleep test called polysomnogram is conducted overnight to detect the patient’s condition. The neurological arousal shifts is measured during the test to read the patient’s brain wave through an electroencephalogram. Likewise, the blood oxygen is also measured through other equipment. A reliable indication if a person suffers from sleep apnea is when there is a 3 to 4 percent desaturation of blood oxygen and a three-second or greater shift in EEG.

One of the common equipment used as therapeutic intervention known as continuous positive airway pressure or CPAP. Hence, CPAP has three main varieties such as the variable positive airway pressure or VPAP, the automatic positive airway pressure or APAP and the CPAP itself. This type of medical equipment is composed of a long flexible tube and a mask worn over the face and a medical pump about the size of a shoebox.

Ramps are other pieces that are valuable for people who suffer sleep disorder. These equipments have certain features that provide comfort to the patient as well as to verify if it is effective. It allows patients to begin the sleep at a lower pressure and ramp it up afterwards. The heated humidifiers that provide warm and moist air ease the breathing. Compliance motors are equipped in the equipments to determine and measure if the patient is experiencing any event of apnea while using the apparatus.

Some patient found masks as the most important sleep apnea equipment that is effective. It comes in different types that fit securely and comfortably. You can also use les invasive items such as special pillow. This pillow holds the patient’s head in cradle to give ease in breathing. Other patients use the inflatable back cushion to avoid from sleeping on her or his back. Sleep apnea equipment also comes in oral devices like the mouth guard that prevents blockage of the airway passage.

Sleep Apnea- Diabetes

Sleep Apnea – Diabetes is an underlying condition where sleep apnea is frequently occurring especially if you have type II diabetes. Studies show that these two different disorders have a close relationship because most numbers of sleep apnea patients is also type II diabetic. Overweight person is the often prone to this kind of illness although not all obese are diabetic and suffers from apnea. The metabolism of an individual has something to do with sleep apnea diabetes.

Maybe you are wondering how does diabetes is related to sleep apnea. It is important that you get to know first what type II diabetes is. When the pancreas cannot produce adequate insulin or the insulin is not metabolized properly, type II diabetes occurs. This type of diabetes is also called as non-insulin dependent diabetes. The blood sugar level fluctuates because of the glucose. This condition is life threatening when left untreated.

People with obstructive sleep apnea are nine times likely to suffer with type II diabetes, some clinical researches revealed. This is because when a person is obese, the fat deposits build up in the breathing passageways and the throat. Obstruction occurs during sleep when the throat collapses causing the airway to become narrow thus cause sleep apnea. Diabetes aggravates the condition but can be remedied by any of these four specific strategies:

Exercise and healthy diets

  • Following a combination of diet and exercise as well as support of others is more effective for an individual to lose weight. Shedding those unwanted pounds can be obtained by eating at specific times in the day that is also a way to be healthy. You can lose weight and stabilize your blood sugar by controlling your sugar intake from carbohydrates. However, before you begin a diet or plan exercise, you should consult first your doctor. Your doctor will be the one to give you the appropriate eating and exercise plan that will work for your condition.

CPAP therapy

  • Many obstructive apnea patients who used CPAP therapy found out that continuous positive airway pressure reduced the glucose levels. If you have diabetes and suffering sleep apnea, you can try this therapy.

Psychological stress

  • Most persons who suffer sleep apnea diabetes experience emotional pain and self-defeating behaviours. Psychological damage can produce illogical thinking, overeating and other associated behaviour. If you are one of these individual, it is ideal that you talk to a therapist for you to overcome this damage and have a better life.

Medication

  • You still need to take your diabetes medication although you have reached your target weight. Sleep apnea may still be a problem but you can seek surgical options to eliminate apnea. Your doctor will be the one to tell and recommend you to a surgeon. It is important to treat diabetes immediately to prevent sleep apnea. Diabetes that produces sleep apnea can lead to cardiovascular disease when not treated immediately.
8
Jul

Of Women’s liberation, washing machines, chicken, and finishing master classes

Between so much to talk about and so much to do at the same time, there’s not enough hours in the day…but a few things caught my attention this weekend.

Apparently, the washing machine has done more for women’s liberation in the 20th century than the birth control pill or the right to work outside the home. The Vatican’s semi-official newspaper, the l’Osservatore Romano, reckons in an article published in honour of International Women’s day this past Sunday, that the washing machine tops the list. The title of the article cracked me up – ”The Washing Machine and the Liberation of Women – Put in the Detergent, Close the Lid and Relax.”

On another subject, I’m one who celebrates when you come across a good old fashioned case of a success story amidst a maze of doom and gloom that we’ve seen in the past few years from Kenya. This is to do with KCSE results, where a one Velma Nanyama Mukhongo emerged as the top female student of the 2008 cohort.

Totally ridiculous celebration using a chicken as a propI don’t know about you, but there’s something not right with this picture. Did they have to go fuck it up with that chicken?

What is it with the chicken?

This girl has achieved a feat that ranks her up there amongst the brightest in the nation, but that chicken just flushes out all the color out of her achievement. I thought Boma could at least teach her some PR savyness (Wabbuzz would have never let that photo be published next to the name Kenya High School).

And the weekend wouldn’t have been complete without the front runner of the goal of the season from none other than the master of the clinical finish. (Did I mention that I was an Arsenal fan?)….Anyway, it’s like this dude was never away and in a season that has given many an Arsenal fan high blood pressure, his goal provided a much needed shot in the arm and reminded you why you love football.

And on Youtube, I guess no more music videos for those viewing Youtube from the UK. Google and the Performance Rights Society have decided to end talks on a licensing deal to allow for the free broadcast of music videos.

If you asked me, that’s a really stupid move that will only hurt the artists who are struggling to sell CDs in the first place and desperately need the exposure from Youtube. Google know this and think the PRS (which represents artists and their interest) are just a greedy lot that want too much money in royalties. The PRS think that Google can afford it and should stop being tight bastards (considering they earned over $5 billion in the last quarter in advertising revenue on Youtube alone). Meanwhile, UK residents don’t get to watch music videos.

7
Jul

Baptism by Fire- Part II

The other night I was watching an episode of NCIS on TV, which was uncharacteristically eerie and was full of scenes from a funeral home, corpses cut up into meat puzzles, and teeth removed from someone alive to be superglued into a burnt out corpse to give the impression that someone was dead – and could then be falsely identified as dead through the dental records matched to the corpse.

I like NCIS because Mark Harmon who plays Leroy Jethro Gibbs is one of my favorite actors. I like his ice cold demeanor and very dry sense of humor and the ruthless way he manages his navy cops. In this particular episode, they were trying to stop a fucked up family of morticians from draining the blood out of the NCIS medical examiner before mutilating his body in a spiteful and vengeful attack.

For one brief moment, I entertained the thought of putting my bank manager through that experience. I rationalized my thoughts by accepting that some people are only alive because it’s illegal to kill – but my thoughts were possibly more sinister.

I didn’t want her to die or anything, just figured that maybe changing her blood would give her a warmer personality and reasoning capacity. So far in my interactions with her, her personality ranked somewhere between that of an asparagus and a fence post, but I was determined not to let her break me down.

I removed the thought of enacting the gory scene from NCIS least because I probably wouldn’t give her a blood transfusion, but pump her body with formalin instead.

I’m reliably told that a small matter of law suggests that to be on the right side of the criminal justice system, someone needs to be certified as dead first (preferably by a coroner) before an infusion of formalin into their bloodless body.

Injecting formalin into someone still alive constitutes an act of unlawful killing, though the argument as to whether this is murder or manslaughter on the grounds of diminished responsibility due to a mental disease or defect is a matter for litigation.

In the last few weeks, I’ve actually done something beneficial from a reflective point of view. Granted, I’ve been forced into it kicking and screaming. I guess through my naivety about the actual scale and impact of this economic crisis I didn’t take on board how easily decisions outside my control would affect things within my control. Short of moving banks, which isn’t as straight forward as they say it is on the adverts on TV, I was stuck with Ms. Bitch here – and frankly speaking, I didn’t at the time of our first meeting, and still have not yet seen how she and I will ever get along.

Our love-hate relationship took a dramatic turn when she suggested that we needed to re-look at my business model.

“Mr. Stone, I accept that you have had a certain kind of relationship with this bank, but you need to accept that things have changed. It’s very naive of you to think that your business isn’t affected”.

There were two things wrong with this picture for me.

First of all, I felt like I was back in high school and in the headmistress’ office being bitch-slapped for a misdemeanor like stealing food from the school dining room over the weekend.

Secondly, not withstanding that I didn’t recall appointing Ms. Bitch here as a director of the business, she was practically dictating strategy to me. I lost the plot when she even had the audacity to suggest that I had been reckless in one or two aspects of how I had run things.

I had to storm out of the room to stop myself getting arrested for assault or a public order offense. How dare she….! Reckless! My entire black ass. This coming from a bank whose directors had just been publicly indicted for casino capitalism that brought the bank to its knees and forced them to come to the public cap-in-hand to bail them out. These fuckers wouldn’t know the Berlin wall came down if it hit them on the way down – talking to me about being reckless…Sheesh!

Being reckless is having a one night stand after a heavy night of drinking, waking up in some strange woman’s house and because you’re still hazed from the alcohol fumes invading your red blood cells, you mistake a tube of Canestan for a tube of toothpaste in your haste to freshen up and get the hell out of there. All you can remember is Ms. One night stand saying “the spare toothbrush is in the cupboard under the sink” and your impaired fucked up self automatically assumes that the tube to the left must be a foreign brand of toothpaste from Lidl or something – coz’ you’ve probably never seen it at Tesco or Asda.

As I stepped out of the building, I found a chap who was actually lighting a new cigarette from the nearly finished one in his other hand. As a former smoker, I know that sign…its unmistakable. This guy was stressed. Stressed enough even not to realize he could have used a lighter to flame up the second coffin nail. So naturally, I struck up a conversation with him, and coincidentally, he had just finished a first meeting with Ms. Bitch who also turned out to be his bank manager.

Jerry (*clearly not his real name*) as I came to understand, was in a much tighter spot than I was. Actually, that’s an understatement. Jerry’s shit was falling apart, and the bank were threatening to withdraw support. You know, it wasn’t until that point, that the reality of what it can feel like for a business to go bust started staring me in the face.

You could see it in Jerry. You could see it in his demeanour, you could hear it in his husky voice and you could tell from how pale he was. It was like he had just had an audience with Lucifer himself and he had been through the undesirable experience of staring at the whites of the devils eyes. Jerry was shit scared.

We went to Starbucks down the road and got chatting and got to know each other.

Jerry’s security company was most definitely going down because of cash flow problems – his overdraft had been yanked from him without enough notice. Both he and his wife were doing additional jobs at evenings and weekends – him driving a taxi and she cleaning – to make ends meet. His meeting with Ms. Bitch was pretty much a formality in confirming to him that his security business was going bust.

Did I just storm out of a meeting with the devil???

6
Jul

Things that really make you go Hmmm!

Gone are the days when parents lambast their kids for watching too much telly or standing too close to the TV – citing reasons like “the TV rays will mess your eyes up” or “too much TV will stunt your growth”. No no! Wafer thin plasma TV’s and flat screen varieties that don’t emit funny rays like the old school type that are too heavy and give burglars hernias during transit are in fashion.

But they too come with their own mortal dangers.

Of late, there’s a growing trend in the UK (or maybe not just out here) of flat screen TV’s mounted on walls or on shelving jumping out at little 2 or 3 year old toddlers and killing them instantly. A parent’s worst nightmare is their child falling from the top of the stairs or God forbid, running innocently onto the road when playing. But I doubt there’s folks out there who occasionally remind themselves “I must do something about that telly on the wall – it’s going to fly out of the wall one day and injure someone – let me make a note of that”.

Considering 4 toddlers have died this year by TV’s jumping out of the wall and crushing them, it’s only a matter of time before ‘elf and safety Mafioso insist that TV manufacturers carry warnings on them – “WARNING! This device is capable of killing unsuspecting toddlers – Suitable for children over 6 years of age”.

On other matters, economic hardships bring out the darker no-nonsense side of tax payers who hawkishly watch how their government is using their hard earned “tak money”, as folks from the deep south of the US of A would say.

The British government have decided to outsource their prison services by building a £1 million prison in Nigeria for the exclusive use of Nigerian criminals who are currently esteemed guests being held at Her Majesty’s pleasure for various transgressions of the law of the land.

It’s the sort of gesture that would make financial sense from the point of view of civil servants rattling their brains to figure out how to cut government spending during hard times, and actually, it does make business sense. But hardcore nationalists see it as a waste of their tax dough which might be better spent in the British Isles. Apparently, there’s some objections already being cited that outsourcing the prisoners back to Nigerland is in breach of their human rights…LOL! This human rights thing is sometimes milked like a nonsense.

They’re probably just miffed that they won’t be getting satellite TV back in Nigeria, access to education and health services, and for the married ones, conjugal visits enshrined in the law of the land. You wonder what’s wrong with just putting them on Con Air straight to Lagos airport for a good ol’ fashioned reception by the local constabulary in Lagos.

In other disturbing developments, this thing called science is beginning to send shivers down my spine. Some freaks of scientists at Newcastle university are on a mission to develop artificial sperm from stem cells. Are we getting to the stage as men where our pro-creative functions will cease to be the ace up our sleeve? Granted, for centuries, there’s been moans and groans from hardcore feminishta types who will go as far as saying women can do without men.

What the hell are these punks in Newcastle trying to do to mankind….LOL! I’m not cool with any excuse that will give women an option of procuring sperm from other sources for the purpose of pro-creation….I guess I’m still the good ol’ fashioned male type who believes that ‘er indoors will continue to be the quintessential warm blooded female who will always pick the real deal for a good going over, rather than this self destructive “I don’t need a man” type nonsense…LOL!

Some scientific experiments need to be shut down, period!

…And on things that just don’t make sense…

  1. You go upstairs to tuck your daughter into bed, maybe read her a bedtime story – basically make sure she sleeps well.
  2. You leave your long term partner aka mshikaji downstairs with your best friend (by the way, your best friend’s boyfriend has blacked out on the sofa)
  3. When you come downstairs, you hear that eerily familiar soundtrack of sexual groans in the kitchen
  4. You catch your man with his trousers around his ankles and your best friend has her legs wrapped tightly around him
  5. Your man tells you he was just showing her his “scar” on his thigh (Clearly I’m getting too old when this is what it’s called these days…LOL!)
  6. You freak out in blind anger, grab a kitchen knife and stab the bastard in his back

And then, you kiss and make up right on the steps of the court that has just bailed you for GBH and you then marry the dude…

Sounds like a script from Jerry Springer…right? Maybe this couple need to be on Jerry Springer.

Notwithstanding the fact that she actually found him with his tojjer inside her friend…LOL! How do you actually opt to live with a woman who has stabbed you. This dude is crazy – actually, both of them are crazy.