In Case Of Flight Delays…..

PS: This article has nothing to do with the Eyjafjallajökull Volcanic Ash that has now become the excuse for even not going to visit your grandma upcountry.

You’ve been cooling your heels at the airport waiting lounge for 2 hours and just when you can hardly wait to board, KQ announces a 3 hour flight delay. What to do?

  • Congregate and harrass the nearest hapless person in uniform. It could be an airline staffer, an airport staffer, a cleaning services staffer……
  • Say how some of you are CEOs of some of the biggest organizations in the country.
  • Sit calmly like a 2 hour wait plus a 3 hour delay pisses off everyone else except you. After all life is too short to be pissed off and being pissed off never made anyone feel better.
  • Read. No reading material? Browse the airport bookstore. Take time off your livid state and read ‘A Guide To The Acacias Of Africa…..’
  • Keep muttering you should have taken the bus.
  • Watch parliamentary debate on the draft constitution. You’ll have to read their lips or do something else clever – the telly will be on near mute.
  • Swear.
  • Its happened. Rant and get over it. Sit back and observe people. Take out a notepad and scribble things. You never know, your scribblings could turn out to be an article.
  • Pace!
  • Genuinely worry about missing your connecting flight.
  • Drink copious amounts of bad coffee and eat lots of bad sandwiches. Just be careful not to end up here.
  • Red the paper again. This time read even those pages.
  • Strike rapport with fellow passengers and bash the airline for operating like a matatu.
  • Remind everyone how pissed off you are.

As for the airlines, strike the fear of God in the passengers by citing technical problems in the plane.

In the meantime, may I take your order?

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